The Great Gatsby (And How it Broke my Heart)

Posted on May 21, 2013 by

2013. 132 minutes. Rated PG 13.

“I was within and without.”

Great Gatsby

Never like a movie where important quotes fly at you on screen. It’s my new rule. This movie was the Cliff Notes I wish I could have had in high school when I read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and wasn’t quite sure what important things to write about in my essay. I really wanted so much to like this movie, especially after how many times I watched Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet remake from 1996 (I even owned the soundtrack) but I just came out of it wanting to re-watch R + J and wanting to tattoo a few emo quotes from the book onto my arm.

This is a preview of The Great Gatsby (And How it Broke my Heart). Read the full post (733 words, 1 image, estimated 2:56 mins reading time)
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Killing Them Softly

Posted on May 17, 2013 by

2012. 97 Minutes. Rated R.

Quote: America is not a country. It’s a business.

Killing Them Softly is another notch on Brad’s belt. Wanna know a guy with some range? Brad Pitt, that’s the guy. What can’t he do? He made me care about BASEBALL while watching Money Ball. That’s talent. 

Brad

This movie cuts right to the chase. It tells a good story without wasting our time. It doesn’t invent a bunch of extra junk and drag us through boring plot devices. It’s got simple goals, and for that reason, it succeeds.

This is a preview of Killing Them Softly. Read the full post (626 words, 2 images, estimated 2:30 mins reading time)
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The Last Unicorn

Posted on May 15, 2013 by

1982. 92 minutes. Rated G.

Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever. A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.

last unicorn

If you have had the pleasure of reading Peter S. Beagle’s classic book of the same name, you will be more than happy to see it brought to life in this animated story.

This is a preview of The Last Unicorn. Read the full post (815 words, 1 image, estimated 3:16 mins reading time)
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The Robber (Der Räuber)

Posted on May 13, 2013 by

2010. 101 minutes. Unrated.

The Robber

European film is typically unfamiliar territory for me, and one which I tend to explore in small doses. A little Polanksi (Replusion) here, a little Schlondorff (Tin Drum) there; maybe a French one (Ann Parillaud’s, Sex is Comedy), the original Funny Games (Michael Haneke’s German serial killers and media satire, all uniquely un-American in style, plot, dialog, existential reflections,etc). Well, in Benjamin Heseinberg’s The Robber, inspired by TRUE EVENTS written in a novel by Martin Prinz, the quiet reserve of the main character, Johann (Andreas Lust), captured my attention immediately, and kept me guessing at what his true motivations were for leading a double life as a successful marathon runner/secret bank robber.

This is a preview of The Robber (Der Räuber). Read the full post (608 words, 1 image, estimated 2:26 mins reading time)
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The Man With the Iron Fists

Posted on May 10, 2013 by

2012. 95 minutes. Rated R.

Quote: I always bring a gun to a knife fight.

iron-fists

Imagine the set of Moulin Rouge and Kill Bill had a baby. Now cover it in blood, prostitutes and scores of dead Chinese warriors, slap the name of Quentin Tarantino all over it, and we got ourselves a movie. With straightforward performances from the likes of Lucy Lui (Madam Blossom), Russell Crowe (Jack Knife) and RZA (Thaddeus the Blacksmith), this film skips straight over nuance, subtext, and mystery to deliver a Kung-Fu lovers’ delight; an hour-and-a-half of full-on Asiansploitation, straight from every other Kung-Fu movie you’ve ever seen. Tropes abound, The Man With the Iron Fists certainly scratches the itch you had (although you may have never even known you had it) that involves Kung-Fu movies, the Wu-Tang Clan’s unique brand of Asian-inspired hip hop, and insanely explosive fight scenes.

This is a preview of The Man With the Iron Fists. Read the full post (1062 words, 6 images, estimated 4:15 mins reading time)
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Primer

Posted on May 8, 2013 by

2004. 77 minutes. Rated PG-13.

“What’s worse: thinking you’re being paranoid or knowing you should be?”

 
Primer
If that line is vaguely puzzling to you, you will probably have a hard time figuring out Primer. In addition, if you do not have an advanced degree in physics, you will probably have a hard time figuring out Primer. This movie is like Memento for people who thought that Memento was too simplistic, or, for that matter, too fantastical. What we basically have here is an extremely low-budget piece of “realist science-fiction” (if such a thing can exist) that tries to avoid the usual tropes and cliches of time travel cinema.

This is a preview of Primer. Read the full post (659 words, 1 image, estimated 2:38 mins reading time)
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The Spotlight: Jason Voorhees

Posted on May 6, 2013 by

I have a big sleeve full of tattoos. Some of you already know this about me. I have it top to bottom with all my favorite “wise men” from film, Obi-Wan, Yoda and Gandalf, to Doc Brown, Mr. Miyagi, Mickey Goldmill, and Willy Wonka… and a few others. It’s all over the place. What you might NOT know… is that I have a secret tattoo, underneath my arm, near my pit (pee youuuu). It’s not a good guy either. It’s a BAD GUY.

Jason

This is a preview of The Spotlight: Jason Voorhees. Read the full post (663 words, 1 image, estimated 2:39 mins reading time)
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The Host

Posted on May 3, 2013 by

125 minutes. 2013. Rated PG-13.

Kiss me like you want to get slapped.

The-Host-teaser-trailer-the-host-movie-30218165-1280-720

The Host begins post-Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Well, kind of. Unsurprisingly, the aliens have done a much better job at being human than the humans:violence is a thing of the past, the environment is back on track,
and poverty doesn’t exist–in fact, money doesn’t exist. Earth is a spotless suburban heaven populated by very polite non-people. The only hitch is the dwindling human insurgency, which objects to being mindless hosts for the parasitic aliens.

This is a preview of The Host. Read the full post (746 words, 1 image, estimated 2:59 mins reading time)
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Pitch Perfect

Posted on May 1, 2013 by

2012. 112 minutes. Rated PG-13

pitch-perfect-movie
I set fires to feel joy.

There are a great many movies out there that are never going to be considered to be amazing, but are enjoyable nonetheless. All the signs leading up to this film pointed to a funny, feel good film. With the success of such television shows as Glee, Nashville, the Voice, and American Idol, the whole country is hopped up on investing in characters who like to sing, so how can it go wrong?

This is a preview of Pitch Perfect. Read the full post (815 words, 1 image, estimated 3:16 mins reading time)
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The Spotlight: Robots

Posted on April 24, 2013 by

How have we not covered this yet? Such an important topic needs no introduction. I’ve been a fan of robots since the get go, who hasn’t, am I right? Time to go over the best of the best, and perhaps a few that sucked.

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The Bad (Just a couple)

The Fembots – Ditsy Blondes from Austin Powers with Machine Guns coming out of their… well, they are not going to be invited to any women’s lib meetings, we’ll just say. They suck.

This is a preview of The Spotlight: Robots. Read the full post (706 words, 1 image, estimated 2:49 mins reading time)
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