Category Archives: Reviews
2012. 97 Minutes. Rated R.
Quote: America is not a country. It’s a business.
Killing Them Softly is another notch on Brad’s belt. Wanna know a guy with some range? Brad Pitt, that’s the guy. What can’t he do? He made me care about BASEBALL while watching Money Ball. That’s talent.
This movie cuts right to the chase. It tells a good story without wasting our time. It doesn’t invent a bunch of extra junk and drag us through boring plot devices. It’s got simple goals, and for that reason, it succeeds.
1982. 92 minutes. Rated G.
Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever. A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.
If you have had the pleasure of reading Peter S. Beagle’s classic book of the same name, you will be more than happy to see it brought to life in this animated story.
2010. 101 minutes. Unrated.
European film is typically unfamiliar territory for me, and one which I tend to explore in small doses. A little Polanksi (Replusion) here, a little Schlondorff (Tin Drum) there; maybe a French one (Ann Parillaud’s, Sex is Comedy), the original Funny Games (Michael Haneke’s German serial killers and media satire, all uniquely un-American in style, plot, dialog, existential reflections,etc). Well, in Benjamin Heseinberg’s The Robber, inspired by TRUE EVENTS written in a novel by Martin Prinz, the quiet reserve of the main character, Johann (Andreas Lust), captured my attention immediately, and kept me guessing at what his true motivations were for leading a double life as a successful marathon runner/secret bank robber.
2012. 95 minutes. Rated R.
Quote: I always bring a gun to a knife fight.
Imagine the set of Moulin Rouge and Kill Bill had a baby. Now cover it in blood, prostitutes and scores of dead Chinese warriors, slap the name of Quentin Tarantino all over it, and we got ourselves a movie. With straightforward performances from the likes of Lucy Lui (Madam Blossom), Russell Crowe (Jack Knife) and RZA (Thaddeus the Blacksmith), this film skips straight over nuance, subtext, and mystery to deliver a Kung-Fu lovers’ delight; an hour-and-a-half of full-on Asiansploitation, straight from every other Kung-Fu movie you’ve ever seen. Tropes abound, The Man With the Iron Fists certainly scratches the itch you had (although you may have never even known you had it) that involves Kung-Fu movies, the Wu-Tang Clan’s unique brand of Asian-inspired hip hop, and insanely explosive fight scenes.
2004. 77 minutes. Rated PG-13.
“What’s worse: thinking you’re being paranoid or knowing you should be?”
If that line is vaguely puzzling to you, you will probably have a hard time figuring out Primer. In addition, if you do not have an advanced degree in physics, you will probably have a hard time figuring out Primer. This movie is like Memento for people who thought that Memento was too simplistic, or, for that matter, too fantastical. What we basically have here is an extremely low-budget piece of “realist science-fiction” (if such a thing can exist) that tries to avoid the usual tropes and cliches of time travel cinema.
I have a big sleeve full of tattoos. Some of you already know this about me. I have it top to bottom with all my favorite “wise men” from film, Obi-Wan, Yoda and Gandalf, to Doc Brown, Mr. Miyagi, Mickey Goldmill, and Willy Wonka… and a few others. It’s all over the place. What you might NOT know… is that I have a secret tattoo, underneath my arm, near my pit (pee youuuu). It’s not a good guy either. It’s a BAD GUY.
125 minutes. 2013. Rated PG-13.
Kiss me like you want to get slapped.
The Host begins post-Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Well, kind of. Unsurprisingly, the aliens have done a much better job at being human than the humans:violence is a thing of the past, the environment is back on track,
and poverty doesn’t exist–in fact, money doesn’t exist. Earth is a spotless suburban heaven populated by very polite non-people. The only hitch is the dwindling human insurgency, which objects to being mindless hosts for the parasitic aliens.
2012. 112 minutes. Rated PG-13
There are a great many movies out there that are never going to be considered to be amazing, but are enjoyable nonetheless. All the signs leading up to this film pointed to a funny, feel good film. With the success of such television shows as Glee, Nashville, the Voice, and American Idol, the whole country is hopped up on investing in characters who like to sing, so how can it go wrong?
How have we not covered this yet? Such an important topic needs no introduction. I’ve been a fan of robots since the get go, who hasn’t, am I right? Time to go over the best of the best, and perhaps a few that sucked.
The Bad (Just a couple)
The Fembots – Ditsy Blondes from Austin Powers with Machine Guns coming out of their… well, they are not going to be invited to any women’s lib meetings, we’ll just say. They suck.
1974. 105 minutes. Rated R.
Quote: The gun is good. The penis is evil.
Do you like Sean Connery, adult diapers, weapons, giant floating heads, psychedelic drugs or dystopias? Why not? Okay, if you like even a few of those things, have I got a movie for YOU. Now Sean Connery has already been raised to cult status, but this gonzo film truly has to be seen to be believed, and deserves a status of its very own. But just what kind of status? Cult? Trash? Insane John Boorman movie of yesteryear that makes even the most staid teetotaler seem like they just drank something from a medical marijuana dispensary? Probably. Arriving on DVD in 2001 (I bought it right away, judge me if you will) this movie fits the glut of science fiction films that littered the 1970s, and brings many of those real-world elements to play in the costumes, set design and facial hair.